November 10, 2009, 8:15 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

ahem* i am mad.

now, i thought i made things overwhelmingly clear when i wrote the check list, but obviously there is still a great amount of confusion. i still find myself in compromising predicaments with men not worthy of shining my shoes, and it is here that i would like to make my last and final appeal to the opposite sex. i have but a few short points, but ones that i hope will resonate. 

  • i cannot make this any simpler…if you are not single, you have a girlfriend. (and vice versa) if you have a girlfriend, you are not single. i don’t think that this concept is anything to mind blowing, but there seem to be a good number of men who are unaware of how this works. for example, me saying that i am a millionaire will not put any money into my bank account. similarly, you saying that “its over” between you and your significant other will not stop you from calling her,  texting her, buying her things, whining to her, telling her you love her, having sex with her, or being seen with her. you removing her from your fave-five or blocking her on aim, does not mean that the relationship is over. this just means that you are in a bad relationship. now, this is where i come in. i don’t. i am not your substitute/ part-time girlfriend. if you need something to fill the void of the late night conversations or the cute text messages that you are starting to miss as your relationship goes downhill, then you need to look elsewhere. i have nothing to offer you, nor am I a halfway house for semi-broken hearts. if you need to be single, then be single and try your best to keep me and my name out of your drama. 
  • no means no. at the end of the day, there is literally nothing that you can do (aside from kidnapping and sedating me) that is going to convince me to get in bed with you. you cannot smooth talk my panties off. you cannot talk me into wanting you. in fact, everything that you are doing to seduce me is disgusting me more and more. i worry about the world my younger sisters will have to grow up in, where a girl saying no is her being a “tease.” you would be better off “teasing” yourself in the shower. it is in your best interest not to embarrass yourself.
  • also, if my vocabulary is too intense for you, lose my number. i am not minoring in ebonics for a reason.

with that being said, i understand that educated gentlemen are in sort supply and i understand that asking for common decency is a stretch. but what you (as a man) should understand is that the reason that women like myself are single is not because we are bitter or picky, its because as a whole, you are falling short of even the smallest requirements, and there is little hope for you in sight. 

step game up. thanks. 



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