June 21, 2010, 4:13 am
Filed under: Uncategorized


it seems, i have pushed myself into what appears to be a brick wall. i have made the to-do lists, done all the extra credit assignments, and shaken all of the hands willing to shake back…but for what purpose and towards what outcome? are my excellent resume writing skills going to pay off my loans and make my parents proud? is my knowledge of latin root words going to keep my lights on and reassure me that i did not waste away 3 years of college?

i fear that i have been following the right path for too long, keeping my nose clean and head down, blocking out the important life lessons that people (whom have no choice but to face them) address daily. what is an overeducated co-ed supposed to tell a broken community, crippled by a flawed system, and blinded by “hope”? what course was supposed to have taught me that?

if it is true, that knowledge = power, and hard work = success, then surely something must be missing from the equation. it appears as though, there is no set of encyclopedias that cure insecurities about the future, and no cook books holding remedies for doubt.

in this failed attempt of self-motivation, i think that i have discovered that i have been complacent in my journey towards enlightenment thus far. i have not taken many risks, learned to correct my slip-ups, or figured out how to forgive myself  for my mistakes. for this, i have no excuses.

we are a collection of infinite possibilities, overflowing with potential, and cursed with no direction.

i wander, but pray to be realigned. i hesitate, but yearn for the courage to push forward.

forgive me, i am young and conflicted.


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