changing location bc wordpress is very limiting:

http://meliciamorris.tumblr.com/

see you there.

rant:

it seems, i have pushed myself into what appears to be a brick wall. i have made the to-do lists, done all the extra credit assignments, and shaken all of the hands willing to shake back…but for what purpose and towards what outcome? are my excellent resume writing skills going to pay off my loans and make my parents proud? is my knowledge of latin root words going to keep my lights on and reassure me that i did not waste away 3 years of college?

i fear that i have been following the right path for too long, keeping my nose clean and head down, blocking out the important life lessons that people (whom have no choice but to face them) address daily. what is an overeducated co-ed supposed to tell a broken community, crippled by a flawed system, and blinded by “hope”? what course was supposed to have taught me that?

if it is true, that knowledge = power, and hard work = success, then surely something must be missing from the equation. it appears as though, there is no set of encyclopedias that cure insecurities about the future, and no cook books holding remedies for doubt.

in this failed attempt of self-motivation, i think that i have discovered that i have been complacent in my journey towards enlightenment thus far. i have not taken many risks, learned to correct my slip-ups, or figured out how to forgive myself  for my mistakes. for this, i have no excuses.

we are a collection of infinite possibilities, overflowing with potential, and cursed with no direction.

i wander, but pray to be realigned. i hesitate, but yearn for the courage to push forward.

forgive me, i am young and conflicted.

unbutton

this evening, on a train ride back from my boyfriend’s house, in an attempt to save myself from 25 minutes of boredom, i decided to check my bank statements and look into how much money was pouring out of my account (as there is a definite shortage of funds coming in). i have been looking for things to cut out of my daily spending routine and have concluded that my daily iced coffee fix is next on the chopping block. i thought i was being good by opting for dunkin over the pricey drinks at starbucks, but i suppose i am stuck in a lose lose situation.

consider this: if i were to buy a small hazelnut iced coffee every day during lunch, i would be spending $1.39 a day, which calculates to $41.70 a month, totaling $500.40 for the year. now while it is uncommon for me to buy iced coffees in the dead of winter, i still think my point is clear. even if i were only to look at the summer months, that is still $125 that i could be putting towards a new marc jacobs bag or something less important, like my phone bill.

i have never been a math wiz, but when it comes to money (my money in particular) i am a scholar.

my first day at the governahhs office was very interesting to say the least.the day started with a muggy walk to the state house. my more than convenient housing, with my more than pleasant roommate have really made my commute suck a lot less. i have been getting the hang of traversing the boston streets, on which no one uses crosswalks or looks both ways. in any case, i made it to the office in one piece and on time. we went through the hum drum orientation banter. short icebreakers. trivial small talk. took id pictures. toured the building. and then we got to the juice! i was given my first few constituent letters to attend to, a colorful collection of emails and letters from people all around the state, expressing their feelings about the state of massachusetts legislation and flexing their right to voice their opinions. i was not under the impression that so many people utilized the governor’s office to its full capacity, calling in to argue about fuel assistance and unemployment benefits. i am enthused by their fervent passion and unyielding dedication to ensure that their children are receiving everything from the improved public education promised to them or their birthday cards from the office…both of equal importance.

i am looking forward to my first phone calls with the people and first state house events. i am still on the prowl for an event worthy of my louboutins, and i am thinking that a nice state dinner or gala may be a winner.

otherwise, things are well. i will be sure to continue the chronicles of my tv-less nights and overcrowded days.

according to CNN reports, there has been growing unrest surrounding the extradition of a local drug pin to the united states. apparently, there have been no reports of casualties, but i am sure that in the coming days, the bodies will begin to pile up and the river waters will run thick with the blood of country men. i have seen this scenario play out countless times. there is some sort of political uproar, rioting ensues, the corrupt government reveals its helplessness, and with swift movements, numerous jamaican mothers, fathers, and children are slaughtered in the streets. on the way to school, students are murdered for their shoes; closing up business for the night, proprietors are likely targets.

this is far from the island oasis seen in the Sandals commercials that run, highlighting the rolling mountains, smooth calypso rhythms, and tropical drinks. it would take a difference kind of commercial to show the economic downturn caused by loan debts to the IMF, the national dependency on a flaky tourism industry, and the elections (predetermined months in advance) that lead to the burning of cities. my fortune has given me the opportunity to be removed from the turmoil directly, but my heart has never allowed me to venture very far away. jamaica is where my cousins ride their bikes, where my aunts walk past the gullies, where my great grandmother still tends her land, and where my uncle Cedric was murdered in 2006. unfortunately, i know the intensity of the mounting conflict, and can see past the news reports assuring us that everything will be ok. realism is both a gift and a curse.

my country is in my prayers and in God’s eye.

now that i have finally broken free of the bondage that was junior year, i will be able to dedicate more time to keeping the world updated on my summer escapades. i will be starting my internship with the governor on june 1st and will be moving to the boston in a week. i have already reached out to a couple of interesting people and have begun the post collegiate job hunt. this law school thing is probably going to be a bust, but i will keep it on the back burner. if all else fails, i will have my useless knowledge of caribbean economic history to fall back on.

in any case, i am sure that things will be quite interesting.

oh yes. i almost forgot to alert the world wide web of my latest accomplishment. after a long and tiresome journey, full of turbulent setbacks and numerous let downs. after two years of waiting and a lifetime of hoping. after the tears, the long nights and seemingly endless anxiety…im proud to tell the world, I GOT MY PEARLS!

skee-wee my sorors! skee-wee!

while there have been a fair amount of hiccups, this semester has been one of the most fulfilling on my college experience. academically, i have done adequately. nothing to write home about, but good enough to keep me satisfied for the time being. i secured an internship with the governor of massachusetts, deval patrick, which i am extremely excited about. i will be able to see the inner workings of the massachusetts legislative system from the public sector, something i am familiar with but have yet to witness. i have never spent any real time in boston, and cannot wait to do some exploring. this will be a great experience, but will more importantly allow me to be close to my love for the entire summer. we have a number of outings planned, but if i know anything, we’ll spend most of our time watching the history channel and making roast beef sandwiches, which sounds perfect if you ask me.

in the coming days i will be coming to another turning point, one of which i will expand upon in further detail at a later date.

until then, i will be daydreaming about the summer love on the horizon, and trying not to flunk my finals.